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Florida Man Waves Machete In Dollar Store

Sean Roberts February 13th
He walked into the store, holding the machete.

Marion County Sheriff’s deputies responded to a bizarre call yesterday. An employee of the local Family Dollar told them that a man had just visited their store and left. The problem was, he was carrying a huge machete and threatening everyone with it. The man, who was later identified as 38-year-old Carl Jay Woodruff of Ocala, reportedly walked into the store on Sunday weilding a black machete and waving it around in the aisles. Here’s a picture of the suspect.
Once a sheriff’s deputy located the suspect off site, he was identified by his wardrobe. The deputy also saw the machete burind in the ground close to the man. When questioned about the incident, the suspect told the deputy that he carried the machete because people “effed with him”. After questioning the man, the deputy contacted the store employee for a better description of the events that occurred. The employee said the suspect walked into the store and began threatening everyone while waving the machete wildly. When the employee asked the man if he was okay, he responded with “I’m doing effing great”.
After the man picked up several items from the shelves, he went to the cash registers and paid for the items, all while calling the cashier names. The cashier said later that she was very afraid of what the man might do. The suspect also reportedly confronted another customer as he was leaving, yelling “what the eff aren you looking at?‘ as he exited the building. Once the man was located and questioned after the event, he was arrested and taken to the Marion County Jail, where he remains on four charges of felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill. No court date has been announced. He remains on $8,000 bond. Source: Ocala-News.com

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2023 Super Bowl: 10 Best Commercials from Funny to Heartwarming

With Super Bowl LVII officially in the rearview, let’s dig into one of the biggest attractions of the game: the commercials!

As with previous years, millions of dollars were spent by many brands in an effort to make a lasting impression on those watching. Of course, by “those watching,” we mean the millions of people tuning in around the world. Many major brands bought ad time this year but so did some surprising brands, too. (Fun fact: AdAge reports a 30-second spot during this year’s Super Bowl costs around $7 million. Many of the ads were 60 and 90 seconds, so that’s quite the expense.)

In 2023, the “Big Game” ads were strong. They featured plenty of celebrities, laughs and even some tender moments. Now that we’ve seen all the spots, here are the ten ads we thought were the best Super Bowl commercials this year. Let the debating begin!

  • Amazon

    This Amazon ad about a loved, but lonely family dog certainly tugged at the heartstrings. The ad is titled “Saving Sawyer,” which is also the name of the dog that stars in this ad. Per Amazon, Sawyer used to be a stray dog. He landed in a shelter and was rescued by his owner five years ago,  And now he’s the star of a major Super Bowl ad! What a story!

  • Bud Light

    This Bud Light ad starring Miles Teller was super cute and has probably given plenty of people a few ideas on how to pass the time while on hold.

  • Busch

    This ad for Busch Beer featured a surprise cameo from Sarah McLachlan spoofing her gutwrenching ASPCA ads. Even though McLachlan’s work on behalf of animals is incredibly noble, you have to give her credit for having a sense of humor.

  • Disney

    With Disney celebrating its 100th anniversary, the company bought a 90-second spot honoring its rich legacy of storytelling that has been passed through the generations. We’re positive everyone watching the Super Bowl has fond memories of many of the film’s highlighted in the ad.

  • Dunkin'

    We all know Ben Affleck loves Dunkin’, but working the drive-thru is fandom on a whole other level. Of course, wife Jennifer Lopez doesn’t seem too happy about her husband’s side-hustle. However, that’s not stopping Jenny from wanting a glazed donut.

  • The Farmer's Dog

    Yet another beautiful Super Bowl ad starring a dog! This time around, pet food subscription brand The Farmer’s Dog showed the beautiful story of a woman and her dog. We see the two as a child and a puppy all the way through to the woman becoming a mother. It’s okay if some dust got in your eyes while watching this one.

  • Rakuten

    Shopping app Rakuten hit us right in the nostalgia with their 60-second spot starring Alicia Silverstone and Elisa Donovan reprising their roles of Cher and Amber from the classic teen comedy Clueless. If you didn’t love this ad, we have just one word for you: Whatever!

  • T-Mobile (Bradley Cooper and His Mom)

    Sure, there was likely some sort of script for this T-Mobile ad, but it just feels like Bradley Cooper and his mom, Gloria, were allowed to riff and adlib. They looked like they were having the most fun together, which was really sweet.

  • T-Mobile (New year. New neighbor.)

    T-Mobile had two outstanding ads during the Super Bowl! The second one that aired starred John Travolta, Zach Braff and Donald Faison singing about T-Mobile’s Home Internet service to the tune of “Summer Nights” from Grease. (Side note: Travolta is 68 and still looks incredible!)

  • Workday

    Some of the biggest rock stars in the world have had it with the corporate world using the term “rock star,” and they are putting their collective foot down. Seriously, who really wants to upset the likes of Paul Stanley, Ozzy Osbourne, Joan Jett, Gary Clark Jr. and Billy Idol? We certainly don’t!

Did You See Ozzy?

Sean Roberts was conceived in the Corvette Assembly Plant in Bowling Green, Kentucky by two passionate, panel aligning, third shifters who had grown bored with the same ole same ole. Upon birth, he was placed in the trunk of a new Stingray and sent off to find his destiny. That destiny included several stints on radio stations across the United States. Some played punk country gospel, while others focused on Croatian death metal played backwards. After many years and many adventures, Sean wound up on The Shark, where he does shots of tequila while playing the most badass tunes ever created by humankind. He remains humble, however, never forgetting about the lean years...the street corners and dark alleys where he played songs on his car stereo for food and sex. He's on top and he's never gonna stop LIVING THE DREAM!

He was waving it at customers…

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