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Our Beaches Are About To Get Covered In Sargassam

Sean Roberts March 13th
Beaches are already at risk.

It’s like a huge, green turd in a salty punch bowl. It’s a monstrous gelatinous glob of seaweed, and it’s aimed directly at the Florida Coast. I know what you’re thinking…maybe I can just go further up or down the beach to avoid it. Well, you’re gonna have to go about 5,000 miles up the coastline if that’s the plan. This kelp creation is twice as wide as THE UNITED STATES! Kinda like your ex, this blob is visible from space.
It’s called sargassam, really. That’s enough to keep me from getting it all over me. The massive load of green goo is believed to be the largest seaweed bloom in history. Hell, maybe that’s what offed the dinosaurs. For now, the monstrous funk pile is floating around off the Atlantic coastline of Africa and our beloved Gulf of Mexico. But gooey masses never stay where you put them, and this is no exception. But let’s take a moment to analyze the predicament. A massive seaweed bloom could potentially feed sea life and absorb carbon dioxide. There’s a downside, though. You see, this thing is so huge that it could give sea life nowhere to go. But the real victim could be our coral, which has already undergone major changes over the least few decades. If the seaweed bloom covers the ocean surfce, sun cannot reach coral and other plants and animals. That could negatively affect our Bay and Gulf for years to come.
At a bare minimum, the seaweed could coat our beaches, making it difficult to enjoy the coming warm days. Removing the blankets of vegetation would also require untold millions of dollars and hours of manpower. The kelp can even clog water equipment. Add this to the existing red tide event in our area and it gets complicated very quickly. The current red tide bloom has been around since October in different areas along our coast. As always, people with allergies or asthmatic conditions should avoid the water and beaches whenever red tide is present. Source: Fox13News.com

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2023 Oscars Red Carpet: Hottest Looks and Train Wrecks

The color of the night for the 95th Oscars was white, with some pops of color with the oncoming Spring season. While some stars looked like they emerged from a dream, others were washed out by their choice. The Oscars are one of the year’s most fashionable events, so you know that the nominees put their best foot (and face) forward on the red carpet.

Take a look below at the biggest winners and losers of the red carpet below:

We Didn’t Watch, Either. You’re welcome.

Sean Roberts was conceived in the Corvette Assembly Plant in Bowling Green, Kentucky by two passionate, panel aligning, third shifters who had grown bored with the same ole same ole. Upon birth, he was placed in the trunk of a new Stingray and sent off to find his destiny. That destiny included several stints on radio stations across the United States. Some played punk country gospel, while others focused on Croatian death metal played backwards. After many years and many adventures, Sean wound up on The Shark, where he does shots of tequila while playing the most badass tunes ever created by humankind. He remains humble, however, never forgetting about the lean years...the street corners and dark alleys where he played songs on his car stereo for food and sex. He's on top and he's never gonna stop LIVING THE DREAM!

The blob is getting closer every day…

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