Sean Roberts

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He threw them all into the water.

Things got a little weird at the Walgreen’s in Marathon, Florida on Monday. Deputies from the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office say they recieved a call from an employee of the store at about 10:30 am, after a man was observed stealing an arm-full of electric toothbrushes and leaving the scene in a white Lexus. I know what you’re thinking…elctric toothbrush…vibrating head…Florida Man. But that’s now how the caper played out.
Witnesses and employees told deputies that they watched 27-year-old Jay Mofield of Islamorada grab six electric toothbrushes from the shelves and walk out of the store without paying for them. They also identified the man’s getaway vehicle as the previously mentioned Lexus. According to the police report, deputies performed a brief search of the area and were able to locate the suspect’s car, but the man sped away when he was approached. Officers did not chase the vehicle at the time, out of public safety concerns. Once Mofield was spotted later in the day, deputies were able to question the man about the incident. Mofield admitted to stealing the electric toohbrushes and told them he had thrown the items off of the Long Key Bridge. The man was arrested and booked into the Monroe County Jail. He faces one count of grand theft. The total value of the toothbrushes was placed at $1,375. Source: WFLA.com

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Sean Roberts was conceived in the Corvette Assembly Plant in Bowling Green, Kentucky by two passionate, panel aligning, third shifters who had grown bored with the same ole same ole. Upon birth, he was placed in the trunk of a new Stingray and sent off to find his destiny. That destiny included several stints on radio stations across the United States. Some played punk country gospel, while others focused on Croatian death metal played backwards. After many years and many adventures, Sean wound up on The Shark, where he does shots of tequila while playing the most badass tunes ever created by humankind. He remains humble, however, never forgetting about the lean years...the street corners and dark alleys where he played songs on his car stereo for food and sex. He's on top and he's never gonna stop LIVING THE DREAM!