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Florida Man Bitten By Gator While Playing Catch

Sean Roberts June 23rd, 2022
By the time he saw it, it was too late.

Gators be gatorin’ here in the Sunshine State. Much like humans, alligators get a bit edgy when they are actively seeking female companionship. Not to mention when they are also a bit hangry. That’s why it’s best to avoid the reptilian badasses when possible. Another attack occurred yesterday, when a Florida man was playing catch near a small pond. The victim told authorities that he was reaching for a ball that was about a foot from the water’s edge when he noticed an eye staring back at him from just above the surface. Immediately after noticing the alligator, he said it jumped out of the watr and clamped down on his hand, dislocating his shoulder and rupturing a nerve. The man told police he hit the alligator as heard as he could across the snout, hoping it would let go. The strategy worked, as the gator let go and scurried back into the water. The man screamed for his family to call 911 as he tried to control mthe bleeding from the injury. Once taken to the hospital, it took three separate surgeries to correct the damage to the man’s body. A representative of Florida Fish and Wildlife says while attacks like these are not normal, they do occur, mostly because some people feed the wild animlas, making them come closer to humans than they would normally. The gators begin to asscoiate food with humans, which is no bueno. An increase of attacks is primarily blamed on an increase in the human population in Florida. Humans build houses and spread out, making the alligators look for new places to live and hunt. If you ever find yourelf being attacked by an alligator, fight back. Aim for the eyes or snout and hit them as hard as you can. This attack follows several others that occurred recently. One happened when a man tried to retreive a golf disc in a small pond and another when a man went outside to smoke a cigarette outside his motel room at night. Source: WRAL.com

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Sean Roberts was conceived in the Corvette Assembly Plant in Bowling Green, Kentucky by two passionate, panel aligning, third shifters who had grown bored with the same ole same ole. Upon birth, he was placed in the trunk of a new Stingray and sent off to find his destiny. That destiny included several stints on radio stations across the United States. Some played punk country gospel, while others focused on Croatian death metal played backwards. After many years and many adventures, Sean wound up on The Shark, where he does shots of tequila while playing the most badass tunes ever created by humankind. He remains humble, however, never forgetting about the lean years...the street corners and dark alleys where he played songs on his car stereo for food and sex. He's on top and he's never gonna stop LIVING THE DREAM!

The victim has been through 3 surgeries…

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