3 Scientific Ways To Get Over A Breakup Now
Q: Jeff is going through a recent break up. He called our Dr. Cooper to ask how to get over the break up, and does she have anything scientific or tricks he can do now?
A: You asked for science so, I’ll give it to you, Jeff!
Why do breakups make us so sad and get us to rethink getting back together with our newly minted exes?
Science shows that romantic rejection stimulates parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward, addiction and cravings. Being romantically rejected can feel like a challenge, like you don’t want me? Ok, game on! But that’s just your brain talking, its not reality.
There are 8 reasons, according to research why we break up
- You want more autonomy, meaning, you don’t want anyone telling you what to do. You get to that place where being alone feels like a better idea than being with her
- You no longer have shared interests. People change and you’ve grown apart.
- A lack of support. You no longer feel like she’s team “YOU” or any situation where the other person judges your choices rather than supports them
- No openness. You’re keeping secrets. She’s keeping secrets. You just no longer feel like anyone is ever honest anymore
- A lack of loyalty. She cheated, you cheated, you wanna cheat, etc. This goes for emotional cheating too.
- No time for each other, on purpose. You would rather be with your friends, at work, your parents, the library…you literally hate being at home or you just no longer enjoy each other’s company.
- A lack of fairness. You feel like you do a lot but you’re not appreciated, or the relationship in general feels unfair
- Bye-bye romance, sex and physical intimacy. You stopped having sex and you live like brother and sister.
Focus on the negatives, not the positives
A huge study found that focusing on the negative aspects of your partner, the things you didn’t like about them and the reason, or one (or more) of those 8 above as to why you broke up helps you change your thinking about them and they become less desirable.
Like, think about someone you dated years ago that you would NEVER date now. It hurt at first but now you see all the things wrong with the relationship and with them. They are someone you would never even consider now. Just get there quicker with your current ex.
You LEARNED to love them, now you have to UN-Learn it!
If you have a sex or relationship question for Dr. Cooper: 888-460-6002
