Bringing Up Sex Before The First Date
Q: Jessica says she works all the time which makes its tough to meet men. Using the apps is great but the guys move too fast for her. She isn’t a prude by any means but she says men talk about sex way too soon, like before the first date. She is not about hook up culture and wants to know what tf happened to dating and seeing where it goes?
A: Men bring up sex immediately on dating apps because that’s all they are looking for. It’s off putting to you, but they’re actually just being honest about what they want.
It’s hard to see when you view it as moving too fast but in truth they’re showing you respect by not BS-ing you and pretending they’re just dying to take you out for coffee. They use the apps because they’re looking to get laid, as are most women, so everyone is used to being honest and up front about that right from the start, even before the first date.
If you are looking for more than just a roll in the hay, then dating apps are probably not for you. You should try some of the more relationship sites and apps like Hinge and eHarmony. Its not that all the guys on the apps are only looking for sex, its just that most of them are and those are the ones who will talk about it right up front.
So if that’s a turn off to you and not what you’re looking for, don’t respond to guys who talk about sex immediately and put in your bio that you’re not looking for just a hook-up.
Also, guys are so geared to using their phones and laptops for porn so there is an association with using tech for sex, its not unusual. But that means you may have better luck meeting guys the old fashioned way, actually going out of your house and doing stuff and meeting guys IRL, that way you can set the pace and there’s no expectation of sex right away. Dating IRL is actually the new trend. A lot of daters say dating apps have killed romance and they want it back.
