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Dave and Chuck The Freak

Canada Is Dealing With Serial Butter Thieves

Author Dave & Chuck the Freak and Cort Freeman
Canada Is Dealing With Serial Butter Thieves (Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

Is Canada dealing with serial butter thieves? That’s what it sounds like! The question is why?

I guess butter is in high demand in Guelph as 2 more large thefts have been reported last week from grocery stores in the city’s north-end. It seems like it might be the same people executing the thefts? There have been at least 7 large-scale butter thefts in Guelph in the last 10 months, per Guelph Today. That seems significant!

Is Canada Dealing With Serial Butter Thieves?

What could you possibly need all that butter for? Are you cooking a large meal? Making a huge butter sculpture? Greasing up some extra large slide or something? The possibilities are truly endless! Unfortunately, there’s no way to tell right now what’s going on and why it’s happening.

According to Guelph Today, 2 males separately entered a business on Speedvale Avenue East before they met up inside. They then reportedly placed several items in a car, including 3 cases of butter with a value of $936 and then exited out of a receiving door. The men are believed to be around 40-years-old and stood around 5’7″ with medium builds. They were seen leaving in a white 4-door sedan.

Then, only 4 days later, 2 males separately entered a business on Eramosa Road before meeting up inside. Again, they got a cart and this time placed 4 cases of butter with a value of $958 and left via an emergency exit, per Guelph Today. It sounds like it might be the same 2 individuals committing the crimes but that remains uncertain. There’s still no word on why, who, or what. However, it seems like the same tactics are being used which makes one believe it’s the same people or that it could be connected, but that is yet to be confirmed.

I’ve never heard any details or people raving about Canadian butter. So, I’m not sure what the big deal is. I’ve heard great things about Irish butter. People talk about that a lot, but never Canadian. I just can’t wrap my head around what’s happening here or why you could possibly need that much butter. Unless they work at a restaurant? Do you use butter to create any street drug or something? That might make sense but, again, I’m totally unaware of anything like that being a thing.

Do you have any ideas as to what could be happening here? I’m at a loss.

Cort Freeman was born and raised in Metro Detroit. He was named Clarkston High School 2009 Class Clown 13 years after graduating. Totally normal thing to happen. That’s thanks to his time spent as an Intern at Comedy Central and Social Media Correspondent for The Colbert Report. Cort has done comedy across the country, both standing up and sitting down. When he’s not trying to make you laugh on-air and online, he’s probably at home enjoying his favorite shows like Seinfeld, South Park, and The Office. He’s also totally uncomfortable writing about himself in the third person. Cort enjoys writing about comedy, food, sports, and entertainment. So, basically anything and everything.

7 'Eh-List' Celebrity Canadians

How’s she goin’ eh? Canadians hold a special place in our hearts. That’s why you’ll frequently hear about ‘Those Crazy Canadians’ on Dave & Chuck The Freak. However, not every famous Canadian has done something worthy of making the segment. In fact, many celebrities are indeed Canadian. Here are 7 ‘Eh-List’ Celebrity Canadians that everyone knows.

Now, just because everyone knows these celebrity Canadians that have become household names doesn’t mean they know these celebs are Canadian! Of course, some will be obvious than others.

Some of the biggest names in show business are Canadians. There are musicians, actors, comedians, and athletes alike that all hail from Canada. These Canadians are our buddies, they are our guys, and they are our friends. Sorry, South Park.

I decided to do a list of 7 ‘Eh-List’ celebrity Canadians, but there are much more than 7 of them. Limiting the list to only 7 caused a few problems. That meant some big names were being left on the cutting room floor!

Here are some recognizable names of celebrities you might not have known were Canadian that didn’t make the list of 7: Keanu Reeves, Celine Dion, Michael J. Fox, the late Matthew Perry, William Shatner, Will Arnett, Neil Young, and more!

When you look at the full list, it’s actually very impressive! The funniest comedians in the game seem to be from Canada. There’s Mike Myers, Dan Aykroyd, Phil Hartman, and more that we’ll talk about in a minute. Then, the world of rock and roll is no different! You’ve got Chad Kroeger, Avril Lavigne (think they mind being so close to each other on this list?), and who could forget The Barenaked Ladies? Also, I know he’s not rock but I feel like I have to mention Michael Buble because he’s Canadian and I think we’d get along very well.

Regardless, here are 7 ‘Eh-List’ celebrity Canadians!

  • Seth Rogen

    Canadian Seth Rogen laughing

    Seth Rogen is Canadian! (Photo by Joe Scarnici/Getty Images for Hulu)

    Seth Rogen is one of my favorite people on the planet. He’s hilarious and he seems like a good dude. In other words, the ultimate Canadian! He talks about growing up in Canada a lot. He has a lot of pride for his homeland.

    Honestly, if I could pick one celebrity to hangout with, I’d pick Seth. I have no doubt we’d be good friends.

  • Justin Bieber

    Canadian superstar Justin Bieber

    Justin Bieber is Canadian (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue)

    Justin Bieber might not have all the traits that Canadians are known for having, like being pleasant and generally nice, but he still is Canadian! The superstar was born in London, Canada. They might not want to claim him, but it remains true.

  • Jim Carrey

    Canadian Jim Carrey

    Jim Carrey is as Canadian as he is funny (Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for AFI)

    Jim Carrey is another funny person from Canada. He was born in Newmarket, Canada. One of the funniest people of all-time, in my opinion. You can always count on Jim for a laugh.

  • Drake

    Canadian rapper Drake

    Drake is a rapper. Drake is Canadian. Drake is a Canadian rapper. (Photo by Amy Sussman/Getty Images)

    You probably were aware that Drake is Canadian. He talks about it a lot in his music…like a lot! He’s also frequently spotted at Toronto Raptor games. Yeah, he’s Canadian.

  • Ryan Gosling

    Canadian Ryan Gosling

    Ryan Gosling is both Ken and Canadian (Photo by Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images)

    Ryan Gosling isn’t just Ken–he’s Canadian! It rhymed better in my head. Ryan proves Canadians aren’t just kind or funny…they can be sexy, too!

  • Pamela Anderson

    Canadian Pamela Anderson

    Pamela Anderson is also Canadian! (Photo by Roy Rochlin/Getty Images for Netflix)

    Speaking of sexy Canadians, that brings us to Pamela Anderson! Yes, indeed, she is Canadian. She was born in Ladysmith, Canada. She was originally discovered at a BC Lions football game in Vancouver wearing a Labatt’s Beer t-shirt. How Canadian is that??

  • Ryan Reynolds

    Canadian Ryan Reynolds

    Ryan Reynolds is a lot of things…Canadian being one of them. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images)

    Ryan Reynolds is many things: an actor, a soccer team owner, an entrepreneur, a father, a husband, and most importantly–a Canadian. He was born in Vancouver. His father was even a Royal Canadian Mounted Policeman! Very Canada.

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