The Florida Aquarium Will Name A Snake After Your ‘Slimey’ Ex
Let’s be real, we all have that one ex that makes us see red whenever we think of them. Sometimes Valentine’s Day can bring up those unwanted memories. Well, The Florida Aquarium has the perfect revenge plan for you. And it only costs $10.
From now until February 14, you can symbolically name one of the Florida Aquarium’s snakes after your slimiest ex, or someone who has done you wrong. Get back at them by forever associating them with a Burmese python. When you symbolically name a snake, you’ll receive a commemorative certificate and a photo of the snake. Click here to name yours! Bonus, you can leave an anonymous note, as long as it’s “family-friendly”, the Florida Aquarium might post it on their social media on Valentine’s Day.
The Florida Aquarium is located at 701 Channelside Drive, Tampa. They are open daily from 9:30a-5p, if you want to go see your “ex” in person.
Other Ways To Get Back At Your Ex
Okay, maybe you’re ready to end your current relationship, but don’t want to end up as a symbolic snake next year. Insomnia Cookies is offering a limited edition 12-pack of cookies for Valentine’s Day season featuring break-up messages. You can hit them with the classic “It’s not me, it’s you,” or choose from 3 other messages. Learn more about that deal here. There are two Insomnia Cookies locations in Tampa, one in Soho and the other in Temple Terrace.
We haven’t seen this “special” from local departments. But a few years ago a Florida police department had a “Valentine’s Special”. If you have an ex that you know has an outstanding warrant, the Port Orange police department would “take care of that for you”. Their social post at the time wrote “This Valentine’s Day month-long special starts off with a set of limited-edition platinum bracelets, free transportation with a chauffeur, a one-night minimum stay in luxurious accommodations and professional glamour shots that will be posted on online for all to enjoy”. We can’t think of a better way to get rid of your toxic ex than that.
Top Reasons Why People Love Being Single
Creating Your Own Routine
You can dance to your own music when it comes to scheduling. Single people can create a routine that works for them. This includes consistent meal times, bedtimes, and events. You never have to consider your partner’s schedule. You can even pick up more hobbies, like weekly trivia or a class you’ve been wanting to try. For better or worse, your time is your own.
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Less Money Stress
If you’re single, chances are that you don’t have to worry about spending money on anyone else but yourself. You can keep your money for yourself and use it for a solo vacation or a rainy day fund. Not to mention, you no longer have the financial obligation of buying someone a nice gift for birthdays, and couple-y holidays like Valentine’s Day, Sweetest Day, or Date-a-versaries.
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Well, Hello Free Time
Single people get more freedom. Without the obligation of another person in your life, you’ll have more time for activities. One of the many perks of being single is just having space and time to focus on yourself and emotional needs. You even get a chance to know yourself better during the added free time. Use your time the way you want.
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It's All Mine!
Single people don’t have to deal with the phrase, “Let me try some” while eyes are glaring at their plate. That’s right, you don’t have to share a thing. Another food benefit of being single is taking advantage of not conforming to someone else’s habits or preferences. You can try a new diet or completely indulge without the extra commentary or worrying about someone else’s needs. You don’t have to worry about if the food you like is off-putting to your partner.
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Binge Your Fave Shows, Without Waiting
Watch what you want, when you want without the worry. Many couples like to watch a new TV series or movie together. But Heaven forbid you tune in without your partner. That’s one way to start an argument. So, if you’re single go ahead and binge that new Marvel series without looking over your shoulder. Also, you don’t have to sit through shows or movies that you don’t care for, because your partner wants to. Watch what you want!
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