Separation Anxiety is Real: 5 Ways to Deal with It
We are all familiar with separation anxiety, or “sepanx.” It is closely related to another anxiety issue, homesickness. No matter how many times we tried to shake them off, they stick to us like glue. Through the years it seems their grip also grows stronger.
You might think homesickness and separation anxiety are the same. They are different, though not by much. You feel homesick when you are not at home. “Sepanx” is when you’re home, yet you dread your nearing departure date. You’re still with your family, but you are already anticipating separation, distancing from them so when it’s time for you to go, it would be easier to leave your loved ones again. But you thought wrong. When you’re back to living alone in a different state, you will soon regret the times you worry too much about leaving again that you forgot to enjoy your borrowed time.
If you think you’re suffering from separation anxiety, check out this video from Dr. Tracey Marks, a licensed psychiatrist with 20+ years of experience. She detailed the signs you have to watch for and helps you figure out your symptoms.
When you’re overwhelmed with separation anxiety, follow the below tips and tricks on how to manage it.
1. Embrace the Separation Anxiety
You might think, “Huh? I thought we are going to learn how to manage separation anxiety, why the heck should I learn to embrace it?” This is sometimes what’s wrong with us, we think if we ignore something, it will eventually go away. With separation anxiety, the more we try to bury this sucky feeling, the more it will eventually bubble up on the surface. Don’t let this consume you. It’s okay to break down sometimes. Let it all out. Don’t keep everything bottled. Don’t also assume your family will not understand. They already know you are struggling with being away from them. Besides, feeling like you don’t want to leave again means you have something good.
2. Keep a Journal
Keeping a journal or a diary has a negative connotation. Writing down your feelings is recommended for your mental health. It helps to write it out.
One study from Arizona State University states that keeping track of your thoughts and emotions can help resist “mental doom loops.” Dr. Reihane Boghrati, author of “Emotion Tracking (vs. Reporting) Increases the Persistence of Positive (vs. Negative) Emotions” said, “If I feel positive today, and if I’m reminded tomorrow that I felt positive yesterday, then I will feel more positive.”
Tracking your emotions can also teach you what your triggers are and how to avoid them.
3. Take Loads of Pictures and Record Videos of Happy Times
There is a risk of being homesick but seeing photos and watching videos of your family’s smiling faces might help you ease your anxiety. If possible, print out some snaps. Having a physical reminder of these memories would transport you to happier times and would (hopefully) improve your mood.
4. Ask Your Loved Ones to Write You a Letter
Not an email, or even a letter typed and printed out. Ask them for a good, old-fashioned handwritten letter. A handwritten letter feels more personal. Open the letter when you are feeling sad and realize that the separation is only temporary and that one day, you will be reunited with your family once more.
5. Know When to Get Help
Separation anxiety is a mental health condition according to the Cleveland Clinic. This could affect us in more ways than one. If it’s already disturbing your daily life and you can’t perform your responsibilities well, it’s better to seek the help of a professional. Don’t think that seeking help from someone means there is something wrong with you. It just means you are valuing not just your physical health, but most importantly your mental health.
We are prone to having bouts of depression and anxiety if we live far from our loved ones. This is normal. But make sure to not let these feelings destroy you. You are not alone in your battle. You just have to keep the faith and know that sooner or later, you’ll get to be with your loved ones again.
