A “Porch Pirate” Made Off With A Homeowner’s Entire Porch
A Georgia man is giving a new meaning to porch pirate after a recent arrest.
According to this report, a man named Robin Swanger was arrested for stealing a neighbor’s porch from the front yard. Yes, the WHOLE PORCH all 8 feet by 10 feet of porch!
The house had been removed from the lot, but the property owner says the porch was NOT up for grabs. So it was just a porch to nowhere in the middle of an empty lot covered in No Trespassing signs.
The owner of the porch said that it was NOT up for grabs even though they moved the home off the lot. During the investigation, the porch reappeared on the lot but was upside down. Police were looking for Swanger for days in relation to the investigation.
They found him when they got a call to his residence on a domestic abuse situation. Swanger was arrested for the porch theft and also charged with two counts of domestic violence.
Beer Thief Cracks Open A Beer And Chats With Witnesses While Waiting For The Police
Idiot Criminal of the Day: Thief Cracks Open A Beer and Chats With Witnesses Waiting For The Police
A beer thief in Oklahoma knew when enough was enough. Once he was trapped and had nowhere else to go, he just had a drink and chatted with witnesses.
According to reports, a man from Oklahoma smashed out the doors in a Quik Trip gas station to steal some beer this weekend. He then fled and somehow he ended up crashing into a grocery store. He was cornered and had nowhere else to go, so he cracked open a beer and chatted with a few witnesses, while the police were on their way to arrest him.
Tulsa County Jail
The man was identified as Jose Silverio, he was arrested and faces charges relating to felony vandalism and petit larceny.
Idiot Criminal of the Day: Man Charged After Attempting To Kill Someone For Eating All The Tacos
Ok we get it. Tacos are serious business and a craving for tacos can only be satisfied by TACOS! but to attempt to kill a person over eating all the tacos is a bit drastic.
A 53-year-old man named Dale Martin from West Virginia is in a real pickle after he took things too far when someone ate all of the tacos. According to a report, Martin became irate with someone else in the household for eating all the tacos.
That’s when Martin went into his bedroom and came out with a .22 caliber semiautomatic rifle. He fired a shot into the staircase where the victim had been standing. Another witness told police that Martin had called them and told them about the taco situation and even threatened to, “get the 12 gauge and blow his f***ing head off.”
Monongalia County Sheriff’s Department
Deputies found the firearm and spent shell casing from the gunshot. Martin was arrested and charged with attempted murder. No word on where the tacos were from, but James assumes it had to be a smorgasbord of Cheesy Gordita Crunches and other Taco Bell delicacies.
Idiot Criminal of the Day: A Guy Carjacked A Lyft Driver After Booking The Ride Under His Own Name
A 19-year-old guy is in some trouble after carjacking a woman driving for a ride-share company. Jermiah Vedner Charles, ordered a Lyft ride back in October.
According to reports, once he got to the destination, that’s when things took a turn. Charles punched the female driver in the head, arm, and stomach. While being continuously hit the woman jumped out of the car. It was at this point that Charles hopped into the driver’s seat and took off with the woman’s Toyota Corolla.
Miami-Dade Corrections & Rehabilitation
Now it wasn’t hard for the police to track Charles down. He booked the LYFT ride through his own account with his real name. A subpoena to the LYFT company gave cops all his information and they tracked him down. They even found the victim’s car near his home.
You can see the video of the incident here.
Idiot Criminal of the Day: A Drunk Dad Reported His Kid Missing, But He Just Forgot Them At Home
A dad in Connecticut called the cops to report his kid missing after he popped into a grocery store, and they weren’t in the car when he got back.
But it turned out he was just DRUNK, and didn’t realize he forgot his kid at home.
Connecticut State Police
He was arrested on several charges.
Idiot Criminal of the Day: A Guy Pulls Gun On A Stranger That Refused To Buy Him A Happy Meal
Being denied a Happy Meal from a stranger could put a frown on most people, but this guy took it to another level.
According to a report, a man in North Dakota refused to buy a random guy a Big Mac and Happy Meal at McDonald’s, and told him to “go get a job.” So the guy pulled out a GUN, threatened him with it, and got arrested.
Burleigh County Jail
Idiot Criminals of the Day: Two Thieves Busted When They Returned To The Scene Of The Crime While Cops Were Investigating
Two idiots in Florida stole an old lady’s wallet at Walmart, and used her credit card to buy $2,000 worth of stuff. Then they got arrested when they came back the next day while cops were there investigating the theft.
(Hernando County Sheriff’s Office)
Idiot Criminal of the Day: Drug Dealer Calls The Cops After A Customer Stole $10 From Him
A 33-year-old drug dealer in Florida got arrested on Friday after he called the cops and said a customer stole $10 from him.
According to this report, Eric Thomas, called officers to report a theft of $10. When they arrived he had 11 baggies of pot in his possession and confessed that the person who stole the 10 bucks was there to buy pot. Both of those are no-no’s in Florida.
Pinellas County Sheriff’s Department
During a post-arrest search, cops found two baggies of cocaine in his wallet. He was arrested and charged with a pair of drug felonies and booked into the county jail.
Idiot Criminal of the Day: August 28th 2023 - Drug Dealer Calls Police To Report A Burglary But Forgot To Put His Drugs Away
A drug dealer in Pennsylvania was arrested, after he called the cops to his apartment, saying he was robbed. But when they got there, they saw his drugs and paraphernalia sitting around . . . in plain sight.
According to reports, 46-year-old Allen Phelan Jr. called the police to report that someone had broken a window and entered his apartment. When officers arrived it did not appear that anyone had broken into the residence. They asked Phelan if anything was missing.
He took officers around his apartment where they allege a pill bottle with a white powder was in clear view with a small measuring spoon. That’s when they placed Phelan in custody and executed a search warrant.
During the search warrant, they found: 47 grams of Fentanyl and 71 packages of it valued at $25,000, 13 grams of meth, 20 grams of marijuana, 9 suboxone strips, and 12 clonazepam
(Blair County Prison)
Idiot Criminal of the Day: August 10th 2023 - Thief Caught Stealing Admits He's Not Good At Shoplifting
According to reports, a 53-year-old man in Florida was caught stealing from Walmart this week.
He tried putting a bunch of stuff up his shirt and walk out the store, but Walmart security stopped him and called the cops. When the police caught up with him, he blurted out, quote, “I’m not good at shoplifting.” He was hit with a felony because he had a couple of priors.
Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office
Idiot Criminal of the Day: August 8th 2023 - Man Breaks Into Church, Baptizes Himself, Then Robbed It
According to reports, a man broke into a Panama City church using a cinder block to break a window. The man identified as Derek Porter caused over $8K in damage to the facility.
A church employee heard the sound of Porter smashing the window and fled. When police arrived and found him he admitted to baptizing himself in the church’s baptistry pool and claimed he wasn’t sure everything he did inside the building.
bay county sheriff’s office
Police report that Porter had several electronics including a television and a computer from the church in his truck along with the church’s money bag. They also found drug and drug paraphernalia on him. Here is some body cam footage during the arrest.
Porter has been charged with burglary of an occupied structure, criminal mischief, possession of meth, and possession of drug paraphernalia.
