Are Some People Just Born Kinky?
We talk a lot about kinks and fetishes during Fetish Friday on The Cooper and Anthony Show. This week we explored them and their origins further.
KINK 101
Where does a sexual kink come from? Are some people just born kinky? What’s the deal?
For some people it’s a way to step out of boredom in the bedroom. They want to try new things with their partner, they saw a movie, watched something online or read a book talking about kink and fetish play and thought, “Hey, let’s try X.” For others they have highly stressful lives and kink is a way they can relieve anxiety. That’s why you see so many CEO types who like to be dominated and who like to indulge in sadomasochism. Still, for others, it’s a way to deal with past trauma.
HOW DO KINKS DEVELOP?
Research has been done on kinky identity and how its formed and for some people it starts early. There are five stages:
- Early encounters– this is when you’re very young and something out of the ordinary gets your attention in early sexual awareness.
- By the ages of 5-14, you explore with yourself- This new awareness brings about curiosity that you start to act out or research on your own. You try a few things. You Google a few things. You start to explore privately.
- Evaluation: Is this weird? Do other people do this too? This is where you start to get more comfortable with your kink and wonder if you’re the only one or is this common. Spoiler: It’s probably common.
- Which leads you to the next stage, finding others– This usually happens by 18-19, college age where you start to develop a sexual identity and try new things with a partner who might share your fetish or kink or at least be willing to give it a go.
- Exploring with others- In this final stage, you are comfortable with who you are and you actively find others who consent to share your desires.
That said, the origins of sexual kinks and fetishes are not completely understood.
The five stages are a theory, and a good one but like most human sexuality situations, there is likely no single explanation for their development. Here are some factors that may contribute to the formation of sexual preferences like kinks and fetishes:
- Personal Experiences: Early life experiences, particularly during childhood and adolescence, can play a role in shaping a person’s sexual preferences. Positive or negative experiences, exposure to certain stimuli, or associations formed during critical developmental periods can influence one’s sexual interests.
- Psychological Factors: Certain psychological theories propose that kinks and fetishes may be linked to unconscious desires, fantasies, or unresolved conflicts. For example, psychoanalytic theories suggest that some fetishes could be a result of displaced feelings or unresolved childhood experiences.
- Biological Factors: There is ongoing research on how genetics and brain chemistry may influence sexual preferences and desires. Hormonal imbalances or variations in brain structures might contribute to the formation of specific interests.
- Social and Cultural Influences: Societal and cultural factors can also impact the development of sexual preferences. The media, peer groups, and cultural norms can shape an individual’s understanding of sexuality and influence what is considered acceptable or desirable.
- Conditioning and Learning: Classical and operant conditioning principles propose that sexual interests can be learned through associations with pleasurable experiences. This conditioning may occur consciously or unconsciously.
- Personality Traits: Some studies have explored the relationship between personality traits and sexual preferences. For instance, certain personality traits, such as openness to experience, may be associated with a greater likelihood of having diverse sexual interests.
It is essential to note that having kinks or fetishes is a normal and healthy aspect of human sexuality for many individuals. As long as these preferences are consensual, do not cause harm, and are enjoyed responsibly, they are considered a part of a person’s sexual identity.
