Florida Man Flings Poo In Court
Having to go ‘number two’ in Florida can get awkward. It begins with looking for a suitable place along the interstate or your route home. Soon, when you realize you won’t be relieving yourself on the comfort and serenity of your own home toilet, plans change. After a short time, your standards lower and you contemplate retreating to the bushes to brave alligators and snakes. You begin to search the center console of your car for suitable items to…finish the job.
At other times, you experience an involuntarily ‘oh, crap’ moment while appearing in front of a judge. Understandable, but again…awkward. What do you do at a time like that? Well, Florida man showed everyone what you should NOT do last week. Court officials say a man who was appearing in court last Friday on criminal charges decided to fling poo at the judge. He learned immediately that such a maneuver was uncool. A report in The Miami Herald said 33-year-old Dorleans Philidor appeared in Miami-Dade Circuit Court last week on burglary and grand theft charges. As the suspect sat in a wheelchair in court and listened to closing arguments, officals say Philidor tried to throw his feces at the judge, who was sitting close to him. The poo didn’t hit the judge and there were no jurors present at the time. After the attempted poo-flyby, the suspect reportedly yelled out “It’s protein. It’s good for you”.
But that’s not all folks. Witnesses say the man then ate some of his own fecal matter. But it gets EVEN BETTER! We have video! Dozens of corrections officers responded to the disturbance (hopefully while wearing gloves, gas masks and 14 layers of PPE) and the suspect was removed from the proceedings until the room could be sanitized. A report later in the day stated that Philidor defecated on himself again that afternoon while in a holding cell. The man was eventually acquitted of the burglary charges, but he still faces another trial on grand theft auto charges. No charges have been filed for the poo-flinging debachle. Source: WDBO.com
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