Sean Roberts

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He claimed he bought the company in a hostile takeover.

When I was a kid, I stole some bubble gum from an open box that I found on a department store shelf. My brother grabbed a handful, too. Just when I started chomping and grinning, relishing in my victory over the man, a guy in a sportcoat and mirrorized sunglasses grabbed my arm and asked where my parents were. I had been stone cold busted by store security. I learned a valuable lesson that day. I learned that you should never trust a guy who looks like Jim Rockford and hangs out in the toy department.

Shoplifting is a real problem. Just think about how many times you’ve walked in to a store and noticed a cruiser police sitting by the front door. That car is not there because there’s a special on roasted chicken. They are almost always arresting some poor soul who’s being held in a small interior room after being caught by security officers. Investigators in the Gainesville Police Department responded to a call about a man shoplifting at a local Walmart recently. When they arrived, they made contact with the man who was accused of stealing clothes from the store. When interviewed, the man gave a surprising reason why he had taken the items in question. The man reportedly told officers it was okay for him to take the clothing because he owned Walmart. He went on to say that he had recently purchased the company in a hostile takeover.

Turns out, that story was false. The multi-billion dollar company is still owned by founder Sam Walton’s family. The net worth of the Walton family is currently around $212 billion dollars.

According to police, 51-year-old Steven Francis told investigating officers that he feels no remorse for taking the clothing, as he already owns the store and everything in it. Francis is being held at the Alachua County Jail and is awaiting sentencing for stealing about $200 worth of clothing from the store. Source:

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Sean Roberts was conceived in the Corvette Assembly Plant in Bowling Green, Kentucky by two passionate, panel aligning, third shifters who had grown bored with the same ole same ole. Upon birth, he was placed in the trunk of a new Stingray and sent off to find his destiny. That destiny included several stints on radio stations across the United States. Some played punk country gospel, while others focused on Croatian death metal played backwards. After many years and many adventures, Sean wound up on The Shark, where he does shots of tequila while playing the most badass tunes ever created by humankind. He remains humble, however, never forgetting about the lean years...the street corners and dark alleys where he played songs on his car stereo for food and sex. He's on top and he's never gonna stop LIVING THE DREAM!