Sean Roberts

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The man recieved multiple blows from a dart gun.

We’ve all been there, waiting in line for a double espresso mocha latte with whipped cream and sprinkles, when you feel the urge to free your genitals from the bondage of your cargo shorts.

According to Local 10, police say that’s what happened at a Starbucks in Miami recently. Investigators claim a 27-year-old man who identified himself as a “homeless model” is facing charges after masturbating in the coffee shop as stunned customers looked on.

One of those customers took out her phone and recorded the event, which lasted about 10 minutes. As the video shows, the man whacked fervently as the video rolled.

The woman can be heard yelling at the man to “put that away” and “get the eff outta here”! When police arrived on the scene, they say the suspect took off and a short foot chase ensued.

The man was eventually taken down after 8 blows with non-lethal dart shots and physical force. Fire fighters took the man to a local hospital and then to jail.

The man is charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, disorderly conduct and resisting an officer.


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Sean Roberts was conceived in the Corvette Assembly Plant in Bowling Green, Kentucky by two passionate, panel aligning, third shifters who had grown bored with the same ole same ole. Upon birth, he was placed in the trunk of a new Stingray and sent off to find his destiny. That destiny included several stints on radio stations across the United States. Some played punk country gospel, while others focused on Croatian death metal played backwards. After many years and many adventures, Sean wound up on The Shark, where he does shots of tequila while playing the most badass tunes ever created by humankind. He remains humble, however, never forgetting about the lean years...the street corners and dark alleys where he played songs on his car stereo for food and sex. He's on top and he's never gonna stop LIVING THE DREAM!