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Sean Roberts

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Florida Man Accused Of Using Flamethrower To Protect Parking Space

Sean Roberts December 6th, 2021
Florida man was growing frustrated with parking his car.

Before this story goes any further, I have questions. First, can your average guy buy a flamethrower? Second, where can I get one? Third, how far can I throw fire with it? Fourth, can I cook with it? Police say Florida man not only has a flamethrower, but he’s not afraid to throw flames with it now and then. It all started when cops showed up at the home of 57-year-old Andre Abrams after a report of the man shooting a flamethrower in the general vicinity of a car that was parked close to his house. The report says that Abrams had grown frustrated with recent parking issues in his neighborhood and decided to take action. The report states that Abrams came out of his home armed with a flamethrower and approached a car with several juveniles inside. They say he sprayed flames within just a few feet of the car. The machine’s maximum range is about 20 feet. Witnesses say the flames landed approximately five feet from the vehicle, terrifying the kids inside. While being interrogated, Florida man told officers that he had been having ongoing issues with parking his automobile in the area and admitted to using the flamethrower. He denied targeting the individuals in the car, however. The police report says Abrams has several incidents on his record from using the flamethrower in the past. The man was released on bail and faces three counts of aggravated assault. Source: AlachuaChronicle.com

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Sean Roberts was conceived in the Corvette Assembly Plant in Bowling Green, Kentucky by two passionate, panel aligning, third shifters who had grown bored with the same ole same ole. Upon birth, he was placed in the trunk of a new Stingray and sent off to find his destiny. That destiny included several stints on radio stations across the United States. Some played punk country gospel, while others focused on Croatian death metal played backwards. After many years and many adventures, Sean wound up on The Shark, where he does shots of tequila while playing the most badass tunes ever created by humankind. He remains humble, however, never forgetting about the lean years...the street corners and dark alleys where he played songs on his car stereo for food and sex. He's on top and he's never gonna stop LIVING THE DREAM!
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