A brilliant Florida mind has given us all the definitive cure for Covid-19. Turns out, it’s as easy as sticking a hair dryer up your nostrils and turning it on. Commissioner Bryant Culpepper mentioned a program he’d recently watched on TV which stated that the virus can be killed by heating air to 136 degrees and blowing it directly up your nose. Culpepper also said that inhaling steam can cure pneumonia. He has since apologized for being such a blatant dumbass. – Sean Roberts
Sean Roberts was conceived in the Corvette Assembly Plant in Bowling Green, Kentucky by two passionate, panel aligning, third shifters who had grown bored with the same ole same ole. Upon birth, he was placed in the trunk of a new Stingray and sent off to find his destiny.
That destiny included several stints on radio stations across the United States. Some played punk country gospel, while others focused on Croatian death metal played backwards.
After many years and many adventures, Sean wound up on The Shark, where he does shots of tequila while playing the most badass tunes ever created by humankind.
He remains humble, however, never forgetting about the lean years...the street corners and dark alleys where he played songs on his car stereo for food and sex.
He's on top and he's never gonna stop LIVING THE DREAM!